26 December 2010

What to do with the blog?

I'm considering what to do with this blog. It was created mostly to share random kid moments with our families since none of them are in South Dakota. I've developed a pretty bad memory, so I've enjoyed capturing the good, the bad and the ugly here on this blog. I wouldn't mind maintaining it for myself but I'd like to do something more personal next year and since my ex's wife likes to stalk me on the internet, I can't really do that on this blog. So, I can either start a second, more anonymous yet more personal blog and keep this one as it is, or I could say "bored housewives be damned, if you don't have anything better to do, READ ON!" and just make this blog more personal. I like the idea of not having two blogs, because I'm lazy enough about one blog. However, I also really like the idea of being able to be emotionally real anonymously. I'm real on here, don't get me wrong, but I have one more real step to take to work out my issues and I'm not sure I want my in-laws and ex-husband's wife reading all that mess. Just so noone dies of curiosity, I have to lose some weight, that's the step. Most folks would not be cool with being over 300 pounds. Personally, I don't care much because the alternative is very hard for me. If I eat healthy, I have random emotions come out that I really don't appreciate. I prefer to keep all that mess quiet and buried underneath some chocolate and french fries. Feeling a range of emotions isn't something I do. I've got happy and angry, that's it! If something else creeps in, it probably means I ate healthy for a week.

Anyways, for a multitude of reasons, it's time to just face it and let whatever emotions want to introduce themselves to me, go ahead and do so. I'm sure it will be hard and that's why I think the anonymity thing could be good. I'm sure there are a lot of other fat chicks in the world who are burying the same crap and maybe a few will read my blog while eatin' those Oreos.

As usual, the future is uncertain.

1 comment:

tizmzliz55@att.net said...

Thanks for including me in this post. I can only tell you that I think you are a gifted writer. I have always enjoyed reading your posts. Of course I love to hear the stories about the kids and see the photos. What ever you decide to do will be honored.
Funny, but when you speak about yor challenges I can't help think that we are all in the same boat. We all have issues of varying degrees, childhood hurts that we would rather not acknowledge their exisitance. I guess we have this expectation of perfection. Anything less and we want to shun those flaws. I think the real work is to learn to compassion for those rejected unaccepable parts of ourselves. On some level I find comfort in knowing, if we find the courage to admit it, that we are really all in the same boat. comfort in realizing that it is a shared pain of being human. When I see it from that vantage point I understand tha I am not alone.
Wishing you the best in this coming year of possibilty.