I don't normally do this...

...but I'm feeling the urge to post and say that I'm not going eat sugar again until Christmas Eve. Now that I've said it out loud, I guess I have no choice but to keep my word :)

My diet has been out of control lately (read: I've gained 30 pounds in two months) because I'm doing a very, very stressful therapy to treat my Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Since the normal vices that people use to bury painful feelings are off limits (ya know, the classics like booze, drugs, bulemia/anorexia and doing the naughty with random strangers), it would appear that I've taken up some serious emotional eating. I actually didn't realize I was an emotional eater until I did Operation Keep Shirt. Going without sugar for a few weeks without gestational diabetes as a motivation was significantly harder than I had expected. I think I might have to consider it an addiction. All I know is that during OKS, I felt a new emotion for the first time in my life and that's what kicked off this compulsive eating thing I have going on now. I don't have this huge range of emotions like most people. I have "happy", "loveybuggy" and a bunch of negative feelings that move quickly into anger and/or tears. When I take the sugar away, there is more feelings there. Now, I know this is healthy and all, but it is very scary to have a new feeling. I guess I'm kind of set in my ways. The thing is that I deeply, deeply want to get rid of the PTSD. I'm sick of being so jumpy/paranoid/testy/unpredictable/gimpy and all the roads seem to lead back to the PTSD.

Anyways, I'm trying to find a middle ground. I might feel like blogging about it, I might not. I just felt like doing it right now.

Gobble Gobble

We went to da hood of Siouxer City for turkey. It was awesome. I drank lots of this stuff.



We miraculously were photographed TOGETHER! This never happens. Sure, the kids were looking away and Lee is sick and looks it, but it is evidence that my kids have two parents, so it's a keeper!


These are our hosts, Miss Alisha and Senor Mateo. Can you see the love in the room? The love makes me happy :)



I hope you all had an awesome Thanksgiving. Before I move on to Christmas carols, here's just a sample of things I'm thankful for:
The trials of life that taught me understanding and the knowledge that my children will never understand me ~ Each of the children I have borne or borrowed ~ Every loving exchange ~ Life going well ~ Being happy ~ Having hope ~ Laughing til I cry ~ Blooming where planted ~ Dancing with my kids ~ Singing when I’m alone ~ Remembering to pray when angry ~ Moving through fear ~ Twinkies and Cherry 7up

You're The One For Me, Punk Rock Baby!

Cyrus is so punk rock that he has sprouted a natural mohawk! That's right, folks. The boy is definitely my son. If only I had let people photograph me in my mohawk phase, we could compare photos :) Of course, I just shaved my head. Cyrus has it in his blood. A bonafide mohawk. It's crazy. I've never seen one appear on its own before!

The top view:


The side/back view:


My boy is a rebel?


Nah, he's too friendly for that!

Video Attempt #2

I'm so amazed at how large Cyrus is! Rejeanne wore this onesie when she was about 9-12 months old and it totally fits him already!

As happy as he is in these, he can smile even bigger. I'll try again tomorrow!

Since I'm not taking photos lately...

I'm just going to have to steal my friend's photos and post those! :) Actually, I just had to show everyone this hella awesome ladybug costume Marlee wore on Halloween. Her baby sister had one too. They were the cutest costumes EVER!!!! So, yeah, everyone be jealous that you didn't get to sport anything anywhere near this rad on Halloween!

A Poem for Today

I, Too, Sing America
by Langston Hughes


I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

Tears of Joy

I cried a little tonight. I really didn't think a black man, no matter how eloquent or intelligent, could be elected president. Thank you America for proving me wrong. Now I just have to pray that none of the militia-types assassinate him! I know a lot of people don't understand how important it is that Obama won, but it is. I think the undercurrent of racism was hanging out in the light for all to see, especially in the South and in McCain's most ardent supporters (to be fair, they were just there for Palin). I'm thankful that McCain is still the politician that I've admired all these years. Real shame he didn't remind us he isn't a right-winger until his concession speech. If someone would have told me in,say, 2004, that in 2008 I'd vote against McCain in a presidential election, I would have laughed in their face. I think Obama should thank Palin for making so many people sick to their stomachs.

Crimson's Halloween

Crimson wanted to be a "headless zombie who is carrying a head" for Halloween. It turned out really awesome!