...but I'm feeling the urge to post and say that I'm not going eat sugar again until Christmas Eve. Now that I've said it out loud, I guess I have no choice but to keep my word :)
My diet has been out of control lately (read: I've gained 30 pounds in two months) because I'm doing a very, very stressful therapy to treat my Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Since the normal vices that people use to bury painful feelings are off limits (ya know, the classics like booze, drugs, bulemia/anorexia and doing the naughty with random strangers), it would appear that I've taken up some serious emotional eating. I actually didn't realize I was an emotional eater until I did Operation Keep Shirt. Going without sugar for a few weeks without gestational diabetes as a motivation was significantly harder than I had expected. I think I might have to consider it an addiction. All I know is that during OKS, I felt a new emotion for the first time in my life and that's what kicked off this compulsive eating thing I have going on now. I don't have this huge range of emotions like most people. I have "happy", "loveybuggy" and a bunch of negative feelings that move quickly into anger and/or tears. When I take the sugar away, there is more feelings there. Now, I know this is healthy and all, but it is very scary to have a new feeling. I guess I'm kind of set in my ways. The thing is that I deeply, deeply want to get rid of the PTSD. I'm sick of being so jumpy/paranoid/testy/unpredictable/gimpy and all the roads seem to lead back to the PTSD.
Anyways, I'm trying to find a middle ground. I might feel like blogging about it, I might not. I just felt like doing it right now.