Three Crappiest Days of My Life

If Cyrus doesn't magically potty train himself in the next day or so, I think we may have to keep him outside in a tent. He has decided that waiting until he's put down for bed or nap is a great way to let us think he is sleeping while stripping off his diaper, crapping somewhere in his room and playing in it! In the last three days, we have cleaned his ENTIRE room (including the vents) twice and the hallway once. Oh, and Rejie decided it was a great idea and slathered herself in poop and white out two days ago. Yesterday's pooptacular events took Cyrus about 30 minutes to do, and took us about FOUR HOURS to get completely cleaned up. Cyrus hasn't pooped in his diaper in three days. He waits until he's alone, then takes it off, then poops. Why can't he just yell "poop"??? Why does he have to play in it???? He's even eaten some. Yummy.

I figure he's either ready to potty train or he really, really likes to get covered in poop then sit in a bath. I'm going to just try to potty train him and use the "cold shower" method to clean him up. Apparently the cold shower has stopped many little poop monsters from continuing the parties during nap time. I'm also going to let him play with playdough for an hour before his naptime. Maybe that will get it out of his system?

Oh, this morning he also dropped his diaper and dropped a deuce on my bedroom floor. Of course, he picked it up and set it on Lee's leg because it was too hard to smear on anything. So, I guess really we've cleaned up five poop adventures between the two kids. Plus he peed on the floor 4 times and once in the drawer.

At this point, I have to say that I'm really really blessed to have a friend with a shampooing machine because we don't have the cash to have carpet cleaners come in here.

Cyrus' poop can also take the paint off the walls.

So, how happy is everyone that this post has no pictures? Does anyone have any advice on how to stop this madness? Should I rent the boy out as a tool of revenge? Will he do this in hotels during next week's road trip? Will my mother-in-law's meditation room survive the Poopulon? Should I take him out to choose some underwear?

I'm so sick of poop. First the giardia, now this!